How a Wee-Little Germ Became a Dictator

I am COVID-19, and I am very dangerous! I am as powerful as God, or the Devil; like them, I’m invisible and I’m so sneaky that no one can even prove that I exist. It’s a matter of faith. Everyone says I exist so I must exist. I do exist. The media says so. The high priests of the WHO say I exist! Therefore, you must follow the rules and rituals! Wash your hands, keep away from human beings and stay in your holy-homey places! And if the Devil catches you, or if you catch COVID-19, well, then, I’m very sorry, but we’ll have to sacrifice you for the sake the nation, the continent and the future of the world!

What can you do? Nothing! Tremble in fear! Quiver with hope as you pray for Lord Billy Gates and the Holy WHO to grant Earthlings a super-saving vaccine! Hurrah! A savior is coming! Stay on your couch, pay your taxes and be saved by the needle! Salvation is near! Please, don’t panic. The cure is near. The meantime and afterwards, please continue enjoying your freedom to kill yourself with junk food, polluted air, toxic entertainments, bullshit news, fluoridated tap-water, and a fully microwaved and macro-waved environment and blahblahblah.

You understand that I am trying to help by warning you? Yes, I might be dangerous, but at least I’m honest enough to tell you that, so you can avoid me. That’s more than I can say about your real enemies—the people who deny that I exist and say the real danger is ignorance and the world-shakers plotting to grab more power. They are dangerous liars! Their lies are infectious and if they go viral they could be deadly!

What kind of outrageous lies are they uttering? Here’s a little list garnered from their own mouths: “The COVID-19 emergency is a fraud, and it’s being used to 1) destroy small businesses and make people more dependent on the state, 2) destroy savings and investments and make people more dependent on the state, 3) force everyone to take expensive and untested vaccines provided by the state, 4) destroy our economy so that the state or global ‘authorities’ can replace our rotten fiat currencies with a new, digital currency that will give our rulers more surveillance powers, 5) give our rulers the power to further limit freedom of movement and speech, 6) distract people while the state installs and activates 5G infrastructure that the state can use to increase surveillance and cause pain to protestors, dissidents and peaceful freedom lovers, and, last but not least, 7) COVID-19 will be blamed for the serious health effects of 5G radiation presently being distributed.”

Absurd! Ridiculous! Lies and nonsense! All my experts, authorities and real adults condemn such heresies and ‘unique’ opinions! Brilliant billionaires and their puppet governments are fighting to save you from wee-little me, the most dangerous germ in the history of the world! They are not fighting for power! To defend your life and the lives of your families and friends, they are doing everything humanly possible! Yes, they have even granted the press the right to insult your enemies by calling them COVIDIOTS. Desperate times call for desperate measures—even in Canada! Your dear leaders must exercise their constitutional right to insult and utter hate speech in defense of life!

Am I starting to make sense to you? In emergencies, we don’t have time for opinions, skepticism, investigative journalism and discussion. Your leaders must command and you must obey. Sorry. That’s life … life as we create and dictate it.

You don’t think we’re in an emergency? 15 million die every year of heart problems, 10 million of cancer, and millions more of other preventable diseases, not to mention the annual million-plus people who die in traffic accidents and in medical malpractice cases. Now, COVID-19 is a million times worse! Haven’t you seen the pictures? People have fevers of Fahrenheit 451! People are melting in the streets! Organs are exploding! Numbers are multiplying, growing out of control and threatening sanity!!!! So, we must outlaw dangerous lies and imprison the super-spreaders of lies!

Let me try to explain. If you’re having a pleasant swim, and I see a shark, I will pull you out of the water and deny you the right to swim! I don’t care if you’re not afraid of sharks. I know, I’ve imagined sharks before, but this time it’s real! Don’t you remember those ferocious sharks of the past? There was one called MERS, another called SARS and one flying, rubber-nosed shark called Swineflu? Don’t you remember? They ravaged the human populace! They were worse than World War Two! The hospitals were empty—yes, because the doctors were dead!

So, please stop being ignorant about flu pandemics, neurasthenia, biolabs and the health effects of 170 years of mounting electromagnetic radiation! You don’t even need to do the research or reading. Much reading is bad for your eyes and makes a tired brain. Stay home and play the game and watch the game you are playing in. Bravely sacrifice your fundamental human right to walk freely—on sidewalks, where permitted, within borders. And keep your mouth closed. I love to jump from mouth to mouth. In fact, I’m so powerful I can infect you through your ears!

Do you know what a certain Covidiot told me? “You little nothing! The people who fear YOU—they should stay inside! If we want to kill ourselves by walking freely, we would be doing the authorities a favor, right? Right?”

Wrong! Viruses can travel through walls if they catch a good wind! Please lock yourself away! Be good prisoners in the beautiful, shining and super-clean new world order. And please stop sneezing, coughing, and breathing.

“Are you denying me the right to lie as much as governments and corporations?”

I ignored his slanderous insinuation and told him that this is an emergency, and when a house is burning, no one has the right to shout to the people inside, ‘Everything’s fine! Stay inside!’ If you utter such lies, the people inside the burning house might believe you and burn to death. That’s why they have fire alarms. Our fire alarm is the government, and if the government says your house is on fire, you’d better hold your tongue and believe!

“What if our fire alarm over-reacts, say, to a little burnt food on the stove-top? Does the government get to decide when my house is on fire and when I must abandon it?”

YOUR GOVERNMENT LOVES YOU. IT WANTS TO PROTECT YOU. iT IS WORKING FOR YOU.

“I see. So, I’ve lost the freedom to care for myself, freedom over my body, and freedom of speech. Excuse me, do you, perhaps, love power and profits more than life? Does your job and ego depend on your being right and maintaining a veneer of legitimate authority?”

YOUR GOVERNMENT LOVES YOU. IT IS YOUR BIG BROTHER.

“It can love me, but I don’t want its love. I divorced it long ago but it did not respect my divorce papers! And the government-paid judge laughed at my claim that you are emotionally abusing me with your fear-mongering, poisoning me with your medicines, and trampling my human rights in the name of your bugaboo. Now, I can’t even have parties or walk in parks because of the government’s sick love!”

YOUR GOVERNMENT LOVES YOU. KNEEL DOWN AND KISS ITS ASS OR I WILL KILL YOU.

“Where is a free and rational spirit supposed to go in a world run by Nazis, fascists, Big Pharma and Big Brother? Where can I be treated like an adult? Where can I walk freely and live outside of overreaching powers and dictators?”

THIS IS A PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT! COVID-19 MUST BE DESTROYED! FOR YOUR OWN GOOD AND FOR THE GOOD OF EVERYONE, PLEASE STOP BREATHING!

“My friends, be brave, divorce your oppressor and let’s work together to create a paradise for

the children.”